September 21st never sneaks by without me remembering it’s the day I married my ex-husband. The first September 21st after my divorce probably wasn’t as easy (honestly, it was over a decade ago and I forget!) Today, I celebrate this day.
September 21st was the beginning of the end for me. It took me walking down the aisle emotionless to release I was not marrying the man of my dreams. I was marrying my best friend and someone who came from a stable family, which I didn’t have. But we didn’t share the same goals for the future and I thought marriage would change his mind about things like having kids. I was wrong and learned the hard way.
But if I never got married, I never would have gotten divorced. And If I never got divorced I would not have all my dreams coming true today. Without my first marriage and divorce I would not have:
-Met and married @frankiedadbad (and cry real tears on our wedding day)
-Have my dream of being a mom come true and experiencing life with an amazing little girl and little boy
-Found my dog Lucky on the street during a thunderstorm while living with my ex-husband and start my passion of rescuing dogs
-Accomplished my dream of being an author and wrote Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s.
-Been on national TV trashing my wedding dress, reconstructing it into a new outfit, forming a worldwide support group for other women divorced in their 20s, made new friends, changed women’s lives, made headlines, and got my byline published on Glamour UK
-Lost my best friends who didn’t support me through my divorce and form new friendships with women who are always there for me
-Gone on a honeymoon with Frank to Jamaica or taken our kids to Disney
-Gotten anxiety after I had Luca and had my liver health scare and learned how to manage it, becoming a stronger person
-Started therapy, which I may one day use to explore childhood trauma if I want
-Got more dogs with Frank: Lulu, Gracey, and Griff
-Moved to the best town ever and live in a lake community
-Have a partner who works just as hard as I do for our family and his own dreams
-Published Princess Genevieve: The Hero with Girl Power and my other children’s books for my kids
-Have my dream job working from home as a book publicist for a company that supports me
-Been freelance writing about parenting and health topics and published on outlets like @oprahdaily, @insider, and @littlethings
And those are just some of the reasons why on Sept. 21st I will celebrate my first marriage. I always says, “Divorce isn’t the end of your life. It’s the beginning of the life you were meant to lead.” And you can’t get divorced without getting married first. So I will never view that as a mistake or feel ashamed. I will own my decision with pride and know that it was just a chapter in my life story.
I have no idea where my ex-husband is or what his life is like, but I hope he found peace and happiness too.
Joelle Speranza
