I Quit Watching American TV Shows for K-Dramas and My Life Improved

This January will mark one year since I began watching Korean dramas—and subsequently gave up watching American television—and my self-care, relationship with my husband, parenting, and friendships have all improved thanks to the life-lessons and uninterrupted “brain breaks” that have taken place over the nearly 300 hours or so I’ve logged on streaming TV services.

As a book publicist, I work with leading experts in health and wellness. The day I got assigned a new client, Jeanie Y. Chang, LMFT and her book How K-Dramas Can Transform Your Life: Powerful Lessons on Belongingness, Healing, and Mental Health, I thought I would be promoting a book around soap operas like the ones I grew up obsessing over for the past 26 years—General Hospital, The Bold & The Beautiful, One Life to Live, Another World, Passions, Days of our Lives, Sunset Beach. You name it, and I’ve seen it and probably attended a fan event or two to meet the stars with the women in my family and friends.

In order to properly promote my client, I decided I needed to immerse myself in the K-drama world to understand the hype. That’s when I realized that K-content is in a league all its own. From the first episode of the first K-drama I watched on Netflix—Business Proposal, a rom-com which became the number one non-English show in 30 different countries when it debuted in 2022—I was instantly captivated by the animated visuals (inspired by the original webtoon) and special effects. Superior production caught my eye but the screenwriting, set locations, and comedic gold kept me glued to the screen. By the end of the limited 16-episode series, I realized that one reason I love rom-com K-dramas so much is because they are like watching romance novels on screen. You know you’re going to get a happy ending and see the storylines wrap up by the final episode.

On the contrary, shows like my all-time favorite U.S. soap General Hospital, are filled with what-ifs, plot upsets when main characters are killed off and for me—situations that trigger my anxiety and I often have to fast-forward. One recent storyline that played a role in my quitting GH was when a character was diagnosed with ALS—at the same time a family member of mine was steeply declining from ALS. Even though GH touches on important social topics there’s a lot of darkness on the show—including deaths of children—and it takes too long to get to the light, whereas on K-dramas we see characters heal from trauma within a week or two of binge-watching and come away with a valuable lesson around life and relationships we can apply to our own lives.

Business Proposal automatically played dubbed in English, so it wasn’t until my second K-drama, Romance is a Bonus Book, that I realized most K-dramas are subtitled. While some people might be automatically turned off by reading subtitles, I enjoy the benefits. For one, I’m learning a new language (I signed my anniversary card to my husband with “saranghae” instead of “love”). But the best part is that I’m forced to focus only on the words on the screen. That means no scrolling on my phone or responding to text messages. I’m immersed in the show and giving my brain a rest from my to-do list or worries. It’s also great that my kids can’t understand what’s being said if they are in the same room! I often get up at 5 a.m. for coffee and K-drama (OK, also because perimenopause) and I feel so much more fulfilled kicking off my day with “me time.” That self-care time helps me be less stressed and snappy at home, too.

Chang tells viewers to aim for “a dose of K-drama a day” for mental health. “Escaping by watching TV is helpful in distracting you from your problems in real life,” says Chang. “K-drama escapism can transport you into a faraway world where none of your own issues or conflicts exists. You also feel connected to the characters in the form of a parasocial relationship. Escapism can be a helpful way of dealing with challenging problems, managing your stress for daily mental health hygiene, and regulating your emotions.”

While watching the Korean masterpiece, Crash Landing on You, I sat on the edge of my seat in suspense during some scenes, cried during heartbreaking moments in the next, and let it all go with laughter with comedic moments from the supporting cast. This show even brought my husband and I closer together. After months of begging, I finally got him to watch and though he first complained about reading the subtitles, he soon became hooked. Today, we’re working our way through the thriller Vincenzo, and it’s usually my husband asking me to take a lunch break and watch part of an episode together. Before K-dramas, we barely interacted during the day even though we both work from home and were struggling to find a show to connect. Now, we have something else to talk about besides household chores.

My friendships have also benefited from K-dramas. At a birthday party for my son’s friend, I started talking with a fellow K-drama lover and other moms joined in. It turns out there are a lot of women in my life who are obsessed with K-dramas—including my hair stylist, dental hygienist, and neighbors. We’re all from different backgrounds and life experiences, yet we all find comfort and also belonging– the “jeong” that Chan refers to on the Noonas Noonchi tours she hosts in South Korea at K-drama filming locations. My friends and I are even going to start local meet-ups to dish about dramas!

Love Next Door is helping me cope with health anxiety. When I saw the female lead character was hiding a cancer diagnosis, I stopped watching because I only want to see happy stories. But multiple K-drama friends told to me keep watching because she gets past it—so I’m getting past it, too. Now, I think I have enough courage to watch the tear-jerker and hailed K-drama this year, Queen of Tears (which ironically features a guest appearance from General Hospital actor Sebastian Roché), as the main female lead battles a health issue.

When watching Cinderella at 2 a.m. on the Viki app for Asian drama, I immediately took to my Threads to post to my K-drama community that the show hit me hard with the alcoholic parent storyline. Many K-dramas flashback scenes to show the character’s childhood and how that impacted who they are today so trauma is always an underlying theme. Watching how the main character coped with the death of a parent she was estranged from was helpful for me as I am estranged from an alcoholic parent with an illness. I was able to consider her actions and lessons and relate to future decisions I will have to make.

I often have the time-slip show Lovely Runner—which TIME called “the year’s best K-drama”—streaming in my house over and over again as background because like much of Millennials and Gen Z, I’m that obsessed with this series. I listen to Eclipse, the Billboard-ranking fictional K-Pop band on the show, through Spotify daily and even own a t-shirt. I’m also not ashamed to say that I imported the issue of Bazaar magazine with Lovely Runner male lead actor Byeon Woo-Seok on the cover. I can’t read any of the content, of course. But I am following Korean language coaches on social media now to slowly start learning words.

K-dramas are also improving my skills as a romance novelist. I’m studying the art of script writing, pacing, slow-burn romance, emotional hooks, and blending characters and storylines. I started a gallery wall in my office filled with photos of my favorite scenes. It inspired me to work on a scripted series around my memoir and young divorce support group, Trash the Dress, and I’m slowly chasing the dream. I started making K-drama fan merch on my Hero with Girl Power Etsy store, too. My favorite is an embroidered sweatshirt that says “The Only Drama I Want in My Life is Korean with English Subtitles.”

I’m not alone. For K-drama fans, when a series we love ends, we don’t know how to move on…but then we just start the next drama on our list and new emotions surge with each storyline that comes across the screen.

At a time when my children are growing up and spending more time with their friends, my husband travels for work, and I’m wondering what’s next for me, K-dramas give me connection, joy, inspiration, and hope. K-dramas fill my cup—my soul feels enriched with each episode and I feel like I’ve done something good for myself. Chang is right. K-dramas have transformed my life.